Confession time: I’m giving up on being a know-it-all
When I sat down to write this post today, I got stuck. I had a long list of ideas to write about – thoughts I wanted to share about mindful business, non-sleazy marketing and surviving the solopreneur life.
But none of them seemed enough.
Because none of the things I wanted to talk about offered up a neat list of how-tos for all occasions, nor did they conclude with a beribboned package of perfect answers.
Which might be fine if I were writing for a personal blog about my cats, but I’m writing as a business person who works with other businesses. That being the case, shouldn’t I be building an aura of expertness? Shouldn’t I be a know-it-all?
Thing is, I don’t know everything.
(Gulp, did I just type that?!)
Actually, no-one knows everything.
So, why do so many mindful entrepreneurs feel compelled to pretend that they do have all the answers, or that their product is the miracle fix? Even when it makes them feel like a fake?
Admitting what I don’t know: the first (and quite popular) bit
Actually admitting what we don’t know isn’t a new idea – marketing types have been talking about it for a while now – it’s called niche marketing.
You say, “I do this service really well for these people. If you want that service for those people, well I don’t know so much about that.” For bonus points you can refer them to someone who does know a lot about whatever they want.
Everyone is happy:
- Consumers are smart enough to know that one size does not fit all. They want services and products that are (as far as possible) specialised for their particular needs.
- This is good for small businesses too, because we can concentrate on doing whatever we do best, for the people we do it best for – our niche market – rather than trying to do everything for everyone, which is impossible.
- And it’s great for marketing because you can focus on finding and connecting with a smaller group of people, and talking to them with passion about a thing that can really help them specifically.
But isn’t a niche just a loophole in the expert game? Because, within your niche, don’t you still have to be a know-it-all?
Admitting what I don’t know: the more contentious bits
How about admitting…
I don’t know everything there is to know, even within my niche
This really shouldn’t be that contentious.
Whatever you do, whatever advice you give, or systems you create, or widget you make – isn’t there always an opportunity to learn more; adapt to changing needs, markets, methodologies, technologies; do it better?
Of course I know a lot – wouldn’t be doing it otherwise – but do I think I can’t learn from others (and they from me for that matter) or from experience? No.
It seems ridiculous to answer any other way (god complex anyone?). We know it and our clients know it. Yet, there is some weirdness around acknowledging it.
Let’s see, would you prefer a doctor who believed she knew everything she needed to know, or one who believed there was always more to learn and actively sought out new research and treatments?
How about admitting…
What I know isn’t enough on its own – your knowledge is important too
Particularly in service businesses, particularly when you are solving a problem, discounting the value of the client’s knowledge is either foolhardy (if you truly think it’s irrelevant) or disingenuous (if you use it whilst allowing them to believe it’s irrelevant).
What about the mechanic who won’t listen to your explanation of the problem, they tell you to, “just leave it with me.” Because they’re sure they can work it out better on their own. (That’s foolhardy from both fixing-the-car and having-satisfied-customers perspectives.)
As a relationship copywriter, the experience and knowledge of my clients (of their product and their customers) is as important to the process as I am. How could this be if I had all the answers? I help people uncover the essence of their business, clarify and communicate it – I don’t magic it from my bag of know-it-all tricks.
But, why admit I don’t know everything?
Because, unless you have a stupendous ego, being a know-it-all creates a lot of pressure.
The kind of pressure that prevents you from genuinely engaging with people, and doing your best work, and writing blog posts, and any number of things that grow your business.
Because a lot of people actually appreciate honesty about being human, learning from experience, and working out better ways to do what you do. It may even inspire them to become a loyal customer.
Take the personal destuckifier (and her duck) who talks about feeling like dirt.
Or the making-space-to-shine goddess who talks about being overwhelmed and exhausted.
Or the time management coach who talks about struggling with the urge to lurch from one to-do to the next.
Because nobody likes a know-it-all. But everyone wants a know-a-lot who is willing and able to work with them.
And that’s not just for touchy-feely woo-woo type services (yes, I believe that is the official industry description). That goes for marketers and plumbers and brain surgeons. Yes, we want professionals who know their stuff. We also want professionals who respect our input (just as we respect their expertise) and who realise that, in many cases, combining the two can actually produce a better outcome.
If I’m not a know-it-all, will people still hire me?
Oh, I hope so.
Seriously, of course you need to demonstrate your expertise and knowledge. That’s a given. But I don’t believe that knowing it all (or claiming to know it all) is necessary to demonstrating expertise.
To take a rather zen turn, I believe true professionals are constantly finding new ways to deepen their understanding. They are always learning. And doing so openly, while also doing a great job, is the best way to demonstrate expertise.
Plus, there are all the factors other than expertise that influence people when they are deciding whether or not to hire you… but this post is long enough.
* * *
So, you tell me, is giving up on being a know-it-all a bad idea for business?
17 Responses
June 12th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Ya know? (ha)
I don’t know if it’s bad for business or not. If it is, then I’m doomed.
I had someone just this past weekend let me know that transparency and admitting not knowing everything and recommending other people was just…..wrong, wrong, wrong.
Of course, I considered the source. A know-it-all who most people can’t stand (and who has entered the ‘unemployable zone’ because of it) precisely because he knows-it-all.
I think we all are at different places in our knowledge, even in our areas of expertise. We keep learning from those who know more….and keep teaching those on the path behind us.
For those who prefer to work with someone who knows everything? That’s cool. I know just the guy they should call.
;-)
This is brilliant! Thanks!
All the best!
deb
Deb Owen´s last blog ..leading a life of quiet desperation? (finding purpose & passion)
June 12th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I just think you are so wonderful!
This is SUCH a great post, Bec!
Goddess Leonie GoddessGuidebook´s last blog ..Space Clearing Miracles
June 12th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
AAhhh… thanks guys.
That is a sigh of relief because I thought this post might incite all manner of finger-pointers screaming, “Fraudster! Fraudster!!”
Still might – but really nice that you got here first :)
June 12th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Great post again.
More people would have the courage to pursue entrepreneurship if they knew they could just be themselves.
Eddie Harran´s last blog ..Where I want to be
June 12th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
1. There’s kind of rubs up against the imposter fear we all run around with. What’s going to happen when they realize I don’t belong here? Knowing it has a name makes it easier for me shut that off.
2. There are people who over educate the masses around them. You know the ones who condisend at every opportunity. I personally can use a little mystery in my life at times. Not everything needs to be explained in every detail. (I get that there aren’t people in my TV set, but do I really understand how the signals get sent? No, nor do I really want to know.)
Julianna´s last blog ..Eschew Obfuscation-or-Keep it Simple
June 13th, 2009 at 1:17 am
I often suffer from fraud complex, so this post really hit home for me today. Actually, I probably could have used it a few days (weeks, months?) earlier, but I’m grateful anyway. :)
Kerrie Lee´s last blog ..Smart Pricing and Free Download
June 13th, 2009 at 2:53 am
Fraudster! Fraudster!! :P
It’s funny, I *never trust* people who claim to be expert know-it-alls, because I believe very strongly that the more you know, the more you realize all that you don’t know. And yet at the same time when it comes to work-stuff I feel like I “should” know everything. Interesting juxtaposition.
June 13th, 2009 at 3:07 am
Wow, terrific post worded exceptionally well. (Hope so, right?? LOL) This is something I struggle with. Technology changes on a dime and no one can truly “know it all” but in this field there are so many blow hards that pretend to. It’s tough to compete for projects and stay real sometimes. I do lose work because I won’t overstate and bombast, but really, I probably don’t want clients who want that. Those who do choose to work with me… we have a good vibe and trust, and that makes us all happier.
Lisa Beers´s last blog ..It’s all about the marketing
June 13th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Welcome Eddie, Julianna, Kerrie & Lisa – all commenting here for the first time I believe!
Thanks everyone for adding to the conversation in such valuable ways.
The fraudster / impostor complex is SO debilitating and keeps SO many of us from really giving the best we have – as Eddie says, it stops many from even taking the leap.
Yet when we put ourselves on the other side, as Eileen so eloquently points out, we wouldn’t want to hire someone who claims to know-it-all.
“I won’t overstate and bombast, but really, I probably don’t want clients who want that.” Spot on Lisa.
June 16th, 2009 at 1:48 am
Really excellent post!
I find that every time I head in the direction of not worrying about being an all-knowing expert, I can relax and do better work.
And yet, it often feels as though I get sucked back toward feeling the need to know everything. Which is exactly when fraud complex rears its ugly head, too.
*ponders*
I wonder why that tendency is so strong. Maybe the fear of being “wrong” is just learned so early that it takes a very long time to unlearn it.
Victoria Brouhard´s last blog ..Wreck This Journal – Week 2
June 25th, 2009 at 9:34 am
“Fraud complex” – I love it!
I did a presentation yesterday to a networking group. it was intended to be a basic overview of social media, but some of the questions got a little technical for me (’cause that’s not what I do.) I admitted that it wasn’t my area of expertise and deferred a couple of these queries to someone in the audience I knew could handle them much better than I. Part of me wondered if that meant I was a fraud, and would lose credibility. But then the other part of me believes that all that matters is their questions were answered with accurate information and they left with some valuable learning in their pockets!
You just can’t know everything. That’s why we have business partners and associates to round out our service offering.
Really, really good post BTW!
June 27th, 2009 at 1:17 am
I totally agree with Lisa’s comment above about losing clients who aren’t right for you in the first place. Admitting we don’t know everything can be another strand in your “red velvet rope”: it can gently discourage people who *are* looking for perfection and attract people who embrace your honesty – and your humanity.
And really, don’t we prefer to do business with humans, not robots?
Thanks for an excellent post!
June 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
If you already knew it all then you would be a stick in the mud and not sure where your nose would be. (ahem) I’d rather someone who is actively learning and growing and improving and energetically focused than someone who feels it necessary to remind me how great they are and how much they know, who needs to aggrandize themself by making me feel small. :)
Barbara Martin´s last blog ..Wrecked Journal Goes Postal
June 29th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Great point Louise – turning the focus to your client (or audience) and how you can help them means drawing on all available knowledge – what you know personally and what others in your network know too.
Ultimately, I believe clients value someone who they know will honestly serve them – and refer to others if necessary to get the best outcome. That is a valuable service in itself.
Hi Liz, yes I like doing business with humans too! Attracting clients who embrace honesty is great because it means you can both put aside any hang-ups or pretenses and get right into the important work of creating something wonderful.
Hey Barbara – nose out of mud – check! There’s never anything to be gained by making others feel small, especially in a situation where you want to earn their trust. Thanks!
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
Oh, thank you so much for this. SO much. I made a post today that bared my soul about something I’ve having difficulty finding the magic solution to, and pretty much freaked out as soon as I pushed “Publish”.
Yet…I think it could help more people than some of my other “how to do this” posts. So it was worth it. The panic sucked, but it was worth it.
Sarah Bray´s last blog ..Quick update: Referrals
August 9th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I love this post! I spent 10 years in my previous business feeling like a fraud. I never failed anyone but I did quite often give the sense that I did know what I was doing, when in fact I was making it up as I went along.
I wonder how much respect the greater community have for those who are honest enough to admit they don’t know everything though? Recently, in my new life, I have gone out in public and admitted I don’t know the first thing about what I’m trying to do, that I’m willing to learn, make mistakes and share them with the public as I go.
You do get a lot of “good on you!” comments, but I’ve also had my share of “why don’t you stick to what you know?!”s as well. My answer to that is quite simple. How does anyone learn or grow as a person, if they stick to what they know?
Life and business would be incredibly boring if we all just stuck to what we know. Only the very bravest actually admit what they don’t know!
Cate Bolt´s last blog ..Passing ‘Round the Hat..
October 6th, 2009 at 9:39 am
I totally agree with Lisa’s comment above about losing clients who aren’t right for you in the first place. Admitting we don’t know everything can be another strand in your “red velvet rope”: it can gently discourage people who *are* looking for perfection and attract people who embrace your honesty – and your humanity.
And really, don’t we prefer to do business with humans, not robots?
Thanks for an excellent post!
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